So much of who I am begins with you.

So wow, it's been a long time since I've written here. I just recently lost my mom and I'm feeling lost. My dad is heartbroken and I don't know how to help him. My tía has been very helpful, just being here for us. I don't know what I would do without her. Everyone has been telling me how proud they are of me for being so brave and strong, but I honestly don't feel that way.

This is so strange for me. In my heart of hearts, I always thought I would lose my dad first. He is the one who is always sick and with all the medical problems. I was prepared, but now I'm floundering on how to be strong. My mom has always been my rock and I just never imagined her not being here. Oh, dear Lord, I have to be an actual adult now!

I'm dreading when my dad has to go back to work in San Antonio and I will be left in this house with all my memories by myself. I'm not sure if I'll be able to handle it, but if I have to, I will fake it 'til I make it. If only so my dad won't worry about me.